Archive for May, 2009

On Being Happy

Did you know that happiness is all the rage?

According to this article by Carlin Flora in Psychology Today, 4,000 books were published on just that topic last year. To compare, just 50 were released in 2000. Unfortunately this hasn’t actually left us any happier.  Flora writes:

We Americans tend to grab superficial quick fixes such as extravagant purchases and fatty foods to subdue any negative feelings that overcome us. . .  Indeed, a body of research shows instant indulgences do calm us down—for a few moments. But they leave us poorer, physically unhealthy, and generally more miserable in the long run.

The article goes on to deepen the conversation around happiness – what it is and what the research says will help you get it. Of particular interest is the assertion that “getting what you want doesn’t bring lasting happiness.” Because humans are so adaptable, we immediately want something more when we reach a goal, win a prize, purchase a new item.

We begin coveting another worldly possession or eyeing a social advancement. But such an approach keeps us tethered to the “hedonic treadmill,” where happiness is always just out of reach, one toy or one notch away. It’s possible to get off the treadmill entirely . . . by focusing on activities that are dynamic, surprising, and attention-absorbing, and thus less likely to bore us than, say, acquiring shiny stuff.

In short, it’s about sustainability.  Which brings me to this question: How are you getting off the treadmill?

If You Like It

I didn’t notice my fear of commitment until college, when a kind friend suggested that yes, I could actually make plans on Thursday morning for Friday night. I didn’t need to keep my options open. In retrospect I can see the fear surfacing in any number of ways. I was always hedging, waiting, resisting.

And then I got married and have remained passionately so for nearly 7 years. And then I moved to a new city and have lived here for over 4 years. And then I stopped quitting jobs and have successfully created and loved the business I started three years ago.

And then two weeks ago my life was just so great right where it was that I made a big fat commitment to it and bought my first house. The morning after moving in? I wake up and almost immediately burst into tears.

You see, I live in the city, and the new street apparently has THE MOST RELIABLE BUS SERVICE in the whole world. Additionally, every public school in the area must send their outdated buses careening down our street between 7 and 8am, jarring their brakes to loosely respect the stop sign at the corner. In other words, it’s a little noisier than my previous city street.

Upon hearing of my woes my wise friend, Maria, said, “Oh, you just haven’t gotten used to the noise yet.” Her comment was almost flippant, really, and this flippancy made my day. Of course! I just hadn’t gotten used to it yet!

And she’s right. Seven days in, I now sleep like a rock (albeit with the windows closed and earplugs in, if  in bed past 7am).

Which is why (excluding the feminist critique for now) I agree with Beyonce: If you like it, put a ring on it. Commitment to anything generally takes some getting used to. But if my commitment to my marriage, to my business and to my city has taught me anything, it’s that life is simply richer and more satisying as a result.


    Get There Now


  • Schedule a consultation

  • Attend the next event

  • Comment on the blog

  • Sign up for the email newsletter and receive a free story-changing tool:
    Email:
____________________

“When I am asked for a referral to a life coach, Jennifer is on the top of my list. If you seek results, personal transformation and want to enjoy the process, Jennifer Gleeson Blue does not disappoint. I consistently hear rave reviews from all whom I have referred to her for life coaching.”Seth Kaufman, Philadelphia, PA