Posts Tagged ‘sustainability’

Job Security & The Road Less Traveled

It’s nice to receive that bi-weekly paycheck, isn’t it? Knowing that, barring being fired or laid-off, you can count on money magically appearing in your account via direct deposit. It doesn’t even matter if you had a crappy week and couldn’t focus at work, because generally you deliver and it’s incredibly expensive and time intensive for your employer to replace you. Which makes you feel pretty safe and secure.

I quit my last “job” in the summer of 2006 and, shortly thereafter, received coach training and hung my shingle. I was able to do this because my husband has been the one receiving that bi-weekly paycheck. It’s taken a good amount of time for my coaching business to be profitable and, in essence, Scott single-handedly financed the early years, for which I’m unendingly grateful.

Recently, Scott began to realize that his steady paycheck was no longer what he was after, no longer what he felt passionate about, no longer worth it.  He wanted to quit his job and launch his own business and was feeling increasing internal insistence that he take a leap of faith and go for it! I couldn’t help but feel a little panicky. I mean, I may be making a living wage now, but who’s to say I will next month. And both of us being self-employed? Do people do that?!?

You can see my value for security shining through here, but at the end of the day, security isn’t one of my top values. I actually have a relatively high tolerance for risk. More importantly, I have a high value on equality. I’ve never had any expectation or desire that I follow my dreams and Scott leaves his behind – it just doesn’t seem fair. It’s also not what’s best for Scott or me or our marriage. I want a partner who goes after what he wants, who creates meaning in his life, who operates from a place of authenticity and integrity. Plus, I like a good challenge.

So I got on board (to be honest, I think I was on board before Scott since his tolerance for risk is a tad lower) and earlier this month Scott gave notice to his employer. Next month, with the backing of a full-fledged production company, he launches MassGrass Media which will equip marketing/communications firms, companies and storytellers with strategic video counsel and creative production support.

(That's Scott, closest to the camera, in the Outer Banks.)

When it comes to job security, it seems we’re taking the road less traveled. It’s not empty, but it’s definitely not anywhere close to gridlock, a fact which in and of itself can be a little disconcerting. It’s reassuring to feel part of the pack. As we’ve explored the opportunities before us, however, we’ve each had to recognize that the road less traveled isn’t necessarily less secure, it’s just different. Companies lay people off all the time; people have accidents which render them unable to work; organizations pay salaries that are below a living wage.

We’re taking a leap of faith, yes, but we did so yesterday, too. And the day before that. Considering that we can only prepare for our future but not control it, it seems to me that taking a leap of faith is simply what each and every one of us does each and every day.

Day 30: Community (30th Birthday Countdown)

As a countdown to my 30th birthday on March 18, I’ve committed to offering 30 people, things and experiences I want to celebrate from the last 30 years. Grab a piece of cake and enjoy reading!


“Let there be no purpose in friendship

save the deepening of the spirit.”

~ Kahlil Gibran

Tomorrow is the big day and I find myself here with one last opportunity to highlight something from the first 30 years I want to celebrate. The choice has become obvious because as I look back at all of the experiences I have celebrated this last month, I am keenly aware that not a single one of them occurred in isolation. They are centered in community.

One of the difficult tasks of this exercise turned out to be that there were too many things I wanted to include. There were certainly too many people. I cannot tell you how happy that makes me!

My world is filled with individuals and groups of people who have generated so much meaning in my life. There are my best girlfriends, spread around the country; my in-laws, who are among the most welcoming people I have ever met; friends from nursery school through college; my amazing and tremendous coaching colleagues; my neighbors and the strangers who smile on the subway; the family members I didn’t mention and friends whose names did not take the spotlight; and there is you.

I will post tomorrow – on my birthday – from Marrakech, but as I wrap up this series formally, it is with a heart full of gratitude for the fact that every single day of my life has been touched and gifted by my ever-evolving, always organic community.

I have been graced with 30 years of love and it is that – more than anything else – that propels me with eagerness and and an open heart into the next chapter of my life.

Day 21: Quitting (30th Birthday Countdown)

As a countdown to my 30th birthday on March 18, I’ve committed to offering 30 people, things and experiences I want to celebrate from the last 30 years. Grab a piece of cake and enjoy reading!

I’m a quitter. Over the last 30 years, I’ve quit a lot of things – races, jobs, friendships, foods, styles, boyfriends, plans, books, family members, businesses, teams.

Rarely, in all the times that I can remember, have I actually followed through with a decision to quit something and later come to regret it. I understand that this runs counter to traditional axioms about quitting. After all, outside of smoking, quitting = failure, no?

No.

That’s because I’m not talking about the quit-because-I’m-terrified or quit-because-I-might-succeed or quit-because-I-might-fail or quit-because-I’m-afraid-of-conflict scenario. That’s something else entirely. I’m talking about the times I’ve (responsibly) quit because it authentically reflects who I am. In these situations, quitting has proven to be a necessary way of staying true to myself, following through with my passions and interests, protecting me from toxic people and situations, making myself available for bigger and better experiences.

At the end of the day, this kind of quitting has brought me to life.

(A 1995 look I quit.)

So today I celebrate all the times I said yes. And then said no. All the times I moved forward because I thought it was something I wanted and then allowed myself to move away when I realized it wasn’t. I’ve given myself a lot of practice these first thirty years and I imagine I’ll have to do less quitting over the next thirty as a result. On the other hand, if at first I get something all wrong, at least I’ll be able to draw on all of this experience I have and just up and -

What? Say no to making New Year's resolutions?!?

You get about 75 million hits when searching google with keywords New + Year’s + Resolution. Everywhere I turn, it seems someone else is offering me THE top 5 tips for having my best year ever!!!

You’ve seen this, too, I’m sure and I’m curious: has it proven helpful to you? No? Yes? No matter. Let me add my voice to the cacophonous mess.

I was at the gym last night and overwhelmed at the staggering difference between the average number of people working out on any given night last month as compared to the zoo that was last night.

My husband commented that this was kinda cool. Health and fitness are good things to acheive and he wanted to celebrate the effort of those new to these goals. I rolled my eyes (how coach-like of me!) and said, “I know I can tend a little cynical, but how many of these folks do you think will be here in six months?”

Because I work with people on change all the time, I know how absolutely challenging it can be to sustain, especially without support. And for many people, New Year’s Resolutions are empty promises to themselves, often borne out of what they think they should do, not borne out of who they really are and what they really want.  They often don’t even solve any existing problems which, quite frankly, is a real shot in motivation’s foot.

So if you’re among the masses who have identified any resolutions/goals/intentions for 2010 (I have), let me offer two bits of advice:

1. Ensure that it actually solves a real problem that you have (e.g., I will perform my physical therapy exercises three times a week because the pain caused by my poor posture is impeding my ability to function well)

2. Don’t commit to it if you don’t really want to

David Allen said, “Most of the stress that people feel doesn’t come from having too much to do. It comes from not keeping agreements they’ve made with themselves.”

It’s counterintuitive to all the New Year’s hype, perhaps, but I seriously urge you to let go of making any agreements with yourself that you don’t anticipate keeping. I want you to have a very successful, meaningful and prosperous year. If that means letting some resolutions go, then by all means, take this coach’s suggestion and do just that!

The Slow Path of Consciousness

Autobiography in Five Short Chapters

by Portia Nelson

I

I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I fall in.
I am lost … I am helpless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes me forever to find a way out.

II

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in the same place
but, it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

III

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in … it’s a habit.
my eyes are open
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

IV

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

V

I walk down another street.

On Being Happy

Did you know that happiness is all the rage?

According to this article by Carlin Flora in Psychology Today, 4,000 books were published on just that topic last year. To compare, just 50 were released in 2000. Unfortunately this hasn’t actually left us any happier.  Flora writes:

We Americans tend to grab superficial quick fixes such as extravagant purchases and fatty foods to subdue any negative feelings that overcome us. . .  Indeed, a body of research shows instant indulgences do calm us down—for a few moments. But they leave us poorer, physically unhealthy, and generally more miserable in the long run.

The article goes on to deepen the conversation around happiness – what it is and what the research says will help you get it. Of particular interest is the assertion that “getting what you want doesn’t bring lasting happiness.” Because humans are so adaptable, we immediately want something more when we reach a goal, win a prize, purchase a new item.

We begin coveting another worldly possession or eyeing a social advancement. But such an approach keeps us tethered to the “hedonic treadmill,” where happiness is always just out of reach, one toy or one notch away. It’s possible to get off the treadmill entirely . . . by focusing on activities that are dynamic, surprising, and attention-absorbing, and thus less likely to bore us than, say, acquiring shiny stuff.

In short, it’s about sustainability.  Which brings me to this question: How are you getting off the treadmill?

The Siren Song of To-Dos

There’s always something more you need to be doing.

Whether it’s buying, plucking, watching, fixing or changing, this message seems to be everywhere. It’s in advertising – to be expected – and it’s also in religion and self-help and work. “To-dos” serve as an undercurrent of our cultural creed, a result of our evolutionary drive, perhaps. We knowwe/life/work/our future can be better and so we create a plan to make it happen.

I’m a life coach. I get paid, in part, because people believe this message. They believe there’s always something more to be doing. And so do I. Sometimes.

And sometimes I think it’s a load of crap. Life isn’t about constantly evolving into something else. Life is about becoming more authentic, more basic. It’s often about devolving.

Of course, the items on our to-do lists sometimes help us do that. More often, they don’t. They lead us down a path of over-consumption, greed, busyness and stress. In short, they make life less sustainable.

This blog will be about many things, I am sure. I am also sure I will be circling around this theme of sustainability. What is a sustainable life? How does it get created? What gets in the way?

I look forward to hearing your thoughts. Until then (and in the spirit of guest blogging), I offer a quote by Thich Nhat Hanh from his book The Art of Power:

“Look at a tree in the front yard: the tree doesn’t seem to do anything. It just stands there, vigorous, fresh and beautiful, and everyone benefits from it. This is the miracle of being. If a tree is less than a tree, all of us will be in trouble. If a tree can be a real tree, there is hope, there is joy.”


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