Posts Tagged ‘time management’

When Goals Create Anxiety

You know how sometimes the stuff that really matters to you adds up to…too much stuff? There are only so many hours in the day and priorities can occasionally be in conflict.  This seems to be especially true when we’re granted significant amounts of “free” time. We want to move forward with our big dreams, but it’s easy to get overwhelmed trying to pack everything in and, very often, we’re so burnt out by the day-to-day that free time feels like a call to rest and play.

A client of mine happens to be in education and is facing this exact conundrum this summer. How does she tackle the big chunks related to her deeper dreams that the academic year doesn’t allow for while honoring her deep need for fun? She expressed heightened anxiety related to this and so I offered her the following thoughts via email.  You might find them useful, too.

See if you can release the outcome(s) at all. In other words, be responsible for putting in the effort to work toward your goals without being attached to whether or not they are reached.

Consider breaking down your goals into much smaller chunks so that they are manageable. Keep breaking down each goal/interest aread until it’s actually something you could check off a list in a day.

Experiment with creating a daily/weekly schedule. Perhaps Mondays and Fridays are play days. You can be flexible with it, but if it keeps you focused and keeps the anxiety at bay, it’s worth sticking with it.

Be willing to let some thing(s) go. Look at your list of goals/tasks and sit with it meditatively. Center in and ask your heart what experiences it is truly longing for. Only keep those items that naturally rise to the surface. If they all rise to the surface, ask your heart how you can honor those wishes.

As I wrapped up my email to this client, I added one final thought: Don’t forget that you can’t do life perfectly. You’ll always be experimenting and recalibrating and finding your way anew.

What measures do you put in place to keep moving forward with your dreams while practicing really solid self-care?

How Not to Manage

There’s a lot of bad advice out there that really gets under my skin. The kind of meaningless-at-best or destructive-at-worst advice that people buy into, soak up and pass around like currency.* While I notice quite a bit of it in my field and in the “self-help” field in general, it really seems to come on full force in the world of business.

Take a recent blog post, Managing Older Managers: A Guide for Younger Bosses, published recently by the Harvard Business Review. Here’s an excerpt:

“Send emails early and late. Invite meetings on weekends and at odd hours. Be in the office or online all the time. Dial into meetings at insane hours during overseas travel. Understand that managers older than yourself may have families that require them to live by different rhythms from yours — they may need to be offline from 6 to 8, for example.”

I invite you to read – nay, skim! – the rest of the article. On a recent LinkedIn discussion, here’s what I had to say about the author’s advice:

As I read it, what the author suggests here has very little to do with younger bosses managing older employees; it mostly seems like it’s his take on management in general. My experience working with multiple generations throughout organizations suggests that very little has to do with age, other than some preferred methods of communication, but not always that, either.

In terms of his approach to management, I actually disagree with much of what he posits, especially around his comments in “Let them know that you are working long and hard.” While I think the basic premise might be valuable, the idea that a younger employee should essentially put on a show to demonstrate work ethic to the tune of being “online all the time” or scheduling weekend meetings, is counter-intuitive to my understanding of good management and, more importantly, good leadership. In my opinion, that and other suggestions border on crazy-making and deceit.

As a rule, I tend toward a more collaborative approach to management, which requires explicit communication, and he is clearly immersed in and advocating for hierarchy, where implicitness rules the day.

Whether you agree or disagree, I’d love to know your thoughts!

* There’s also this part of me that wants to hedge. That wants to say, “To each his own.” There’s merit to that as I certainly don’t wish to throw the baby out with the bathwater. And of course, I’m sure I, too, have unwittingly offered something meaningless or offensive at one time or another.

First Things First

I’m often thinking about priorities. In part, I am paid to do as much. I help my clients sort through their own priorities in order to design actions that support those priorities. I do the same for myself, too, of course.

Prioritization has been a particularly hot topic of late. Many of my clients have been asking for a specific emphasis on it; last week, I guest blogged on why/how you can stop trying to manage time; and this morning I had a brief conversation with a colleague by the name of Julie Cohen who was telling me her number one key to creating work-life balance is to develop priorities.

My work with clients, my own blogging and Julie’s comments have reminded me of  how important it is to not only identify what matters most to us but actually construct our lives to reflect those priorities. Or, as Steven Covey would say, we need to put first things first.

The way you choose to spend your time is a reflection of what matters most in your life. If someone were to look at how the hours in your day are allocated, would they see who you really are? Would they see where your priorities lie? And if not, why not?

When Time Isn't Money

A sample dialogue between me and me follows.

Me: I really don’t think you should pay someone to fix the faucet in the sink.

Me: Oh yeah, why not?

Me: Because this is something you could learn. You really like problem solving and it will serve you well down the road. Plus, it will save you money to learn it yourself.

Me: But time is money. And by saving time,  I will, in effect,  save money. Or at least be able to make more of it.

So there’s lot’s to unpack there, right? We could look at some residual issues I have with money. We could examine a slight subtext of control. We could also dig into the need to justify what it is I want. Since I’m not terribly interested in the former two at this moment and I’ve already explored the latter here, let’s look at something else entirely.

Time is money.

The argument  is understandable. With time you can make money. If something – or someone – takes up your time, it – or this someone – also deprives you of your ability to make more money. As a business owner, I get this. If I am fixing the faucet, I am not coaching, writing, submitting proposals, attending workshops or leading my own. I am doing something other than those activities that allegedly bring home the bacon. And bacon (especially tempeh bacon) is mighty delicious.

It just so happens that “time is money” doesn’t really reflect my deepest values, at least not in the way we typically understand the concept of money.

A former college professor and friend on facebook shared a blog posting entitled, A Calendar is a Moral Document. Its author asserts that your calendar reveals what’s most important to you. How you spend your time (like how you spend your money) is both a reflection of and a way for you to express your deepest values and beliefs.

Fixing the faucet is good. So is working on my business.

But time isn’t just money. Time is also laughter. And my husband’s complex hazel eyes. And playing fetch with the cats. And feeding the hungry. And helping a friend move. And watching the trees bend in the wind.

As my wise mother said this weekend, “We’re really only on this planet for a short time.”

How are you spending it?


    Get There Now


  • Schedule a consultation

  • Attend the next event

  • Comment on the blog

  • Sign up for the email newsletter and receive a free story-changing tool:
    Email:
____________________

“I highly recommend Jennifer Gleeson Blue as a personal coach and workshop presenter. She is a valuable asset to the coaching profession.”Katie Hardesty, Cherry Hill, NJ